Walking Away from God

“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.  Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.  We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
John 6:67-69

I’ve basically been a Christian all of my life.  I was raised in a Christian home.  I never really went through a time of rebellion against God.  But I have certainly made my mistakes, given in to sin at times, and had my share of struggles.  There have been some times where I’ve gone through some hard stuff.  I’ve struggled to understand why God is allowing me to go through it.

There have been times I’ve questioned God’s love.  I’ve been skeptical of His faithfulness.  I’ve wondered if I can really trust Him.  I haven’t understood why it seems He doesn’t come through sometimes.  I’ve been bewildered by His silence.  I’ve been frustrated when it doesn’t seem He is answering my prayers.  And I’ve gotten downright angry with Him on more than one occasion.

Nevertheless, no matter how frustrated I might get, and even if and when I contemplate the thought of just completely giving up, I find myself at the same place of Simon Peter.  “Lord, to whom shall I go?  You have the words of eternal life.  I believe and know you are the Holy One of God."

I can go 4-5 days without prayer or time in His presence.  And even if I’m angry with Him, my heart begins to ache for Him.  I want to be close to the Lord.  I want to be with Him.  I long to be in His presence.

Several years ago a man in my church looked at me and said, “The things you are doing now will sustain you for the rest of your life.”  I believe, if memory serves me correctly, at that time I was genuinely concerned as to whether I would make it through this life with my faith in the Lord intact.  I want to know that my faith will endure for the long haul.  That word from the man at my church brought comfort to me in the midst of my doubts.  I believe the Lord was showing me that the foundation I was building in my walk with Him would truly sustain me throughout my life.

Since then I have most certainly gone through times of great testing.  My faith has been stretched.  It has been strained.  But I can’t imagine my life without the Lord.  Even when I don’t understand His ways, I just can’t imagine what life would be like without Him.  I can’t imagine walking away from him.

All of this I’ve written in hope that it will encourage you in your walk with God.  We all go through times where our faith and our relationship with God are tested.  We may even get frustrated and angry with God.  That’s okay.  God is big enough to handle our deepest struggles.  But my prayer is that, like Peter, you know Jesus is the “Holy One of God” and that He loves you.  He promises He will never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).  He will never walk away from you.